This is a blog where I will post about my experiences with being autistic. I invite others to do the same as well as ask me any questions or for advice. PLEASE ADD YOURSELF AS A FOLLOWER! :)
Monday, January 16, 2012
More Selfish Altrusim
Thanks for coming! I'm gradually moving my blog to Substack! You can check out this post here!
Very true. I dont do them either..mostly because Im bad at it, but at my daughters birthday party, and my wedding, I was told I had to write thank you letters. Why? I thanked them in person. So I began to tell everyone I will NOT be sending thank you's in the mail, one's where I have to memorize every gift given and by whom and come up with a million different ways/phrases of saying thank you, stamp each one, write each address, only for you to throw them away in within 30 seconds of glancing at it. The looks I got from some, were quite funny actually lol! I think the fact that some actually took offense to this, offended me. I gave you a personal heartfelt thank you. You need more? Get over yourselves.
I agree. If somebody thanked me in person, I really couldn't care less if I got a note in the mail or not unless it was for helping in some unusual way (like donating a kidney, perhaps?). I hated writing all the "thank you" notes when I had my Bat-Mitzvah. Whenever my uncle sends me a gift card for Christmas, I send him an email that says something to the effect of, "Hey, thanks so much!" and then tell him what I bought with it. But I think my mother wants me to write something more... mature? Dunno. Either way, he's my uncle, so I'll write a note to him that's more genuine.
The "You shouldn't haves" and the "I can't accept this" or the "it was nothings" of the world baffle me too. Hilarious. It's like a well choreographed dance that I am just slightly out of step with. When I give a gift, I give it because I want to and when I say thank you, I really mean it (even if I don't like the gift).
I often respond to 'you didn't have to do this' with 'I wanted to'. That usually stops the ritual (or, at least, it's never gone further with me). And also another thing that comes to mind is that when people offer me something multiple times when I've already turned them down once I tend to get nasty, not take whatever-it-is.
Part of the problem I have with this kind of thing, is that I still get nervous when someone say "you shouldn't have" - I immediately wonder why I shouldn't have and did I do something wrong again? Doesn't help when you take stuff so literally. I so wish people would just accept things gracefully and be honest and straightforward when they talk to you.
Very true. I dont do them either..mostly because Im bad at it, but at my daughters birthday party, and my wedding, I was told I had to write thank you letters. Why? I thanked them in person. So I began to tell everyone I will NOT be sending thank you's in the mail, one's where I have to memorize every gift given and by whom and come up with a million different ways/phrases of saying thank you, stamp each one, write each address, only for you to throw them away in within 30 seconds of glancing at it.
ReplyDeleteThe looks I got from some, were quite funny actually lol! I think the fact that some actually took offense to this, offended me. I gave you a personal heartfelt thank you. You need more? Get over yourselves.
I agree. If somebody thanked me in person, I really couldn't care less if I got a note in the mail or not unless it was for helping in some unusual way (like donating a kidney, perhaps?). I hated writing all the "thank you" notes when I had my Bat-Mitzvah. Whenever my uncle sends me a gift card for Christmas, I send him an email that says something to the effect of, "Hey, thanks so much!" and then tell him what I bought with it. But I think my mother wants me to write something more... mature? Dunno. Either way, he's my uncle, so I'll write a note to him that's more genuine.
DeleteThe "You shouldn't haves" and the "I can't accept this" or the "it was nothings" of the world baffle me too. Hilarious. It's like a well choreographed dance that I am just slightly out of step with. When I give a gift, I give it because I want to and when I say thank you, I really mean it (even if I don't like the gift).
ReplyDeleteI often respond to 'you didn't have to do this' with 'I wanted to'. That usually stops the ritual (or, at least, it's never gone further with me). And also another thing that comes to mind is that when people offer me something multiple times when I've already turned them down once I tend to get nasty, not take whatever-it-is.
ReplyDeletePart of the problem I have with this kind of thing, is that I still get nervous when someone say "you shouldn't have" - I immediately wonder why I shouldn't have and did I do something wrong again? Doesn't help when you take stuff so literally. I so wish people would just accept things gracefully and be honest and straightforward when they talk to you.
ReplyDelete